Crisis

Ugh my free time the last few days have been occupied by small fires in my personal life, so I do as much of the exercises (admittedly not all, usually anything involving a bar) as I can in the late night before exhaustion sends me to bed. One of these crisis is with the ex (seriously, don't ever get divorced, it totally, totally, totally, totally sucks), which is a major life changer and will be ongoing, and one was minor and with the child (who probably had H1N1 this week since experts say it's too early for seasonal flu; she's doing better now and went back to school today).

And of course you all know my jumprope broke and I hope to right after I post this to run to a store and hunt one down. The ones at Target were NOT like my beloved jumprope so I'm on a mission, a mission from GAWD, to find a worthy replacement. Also, I'm probably not eating enough historically during these highly stressful times I tend to lose my appetite AND not sleep well) but when I eat it's PCP things (having a thing for green beans, as well as celery lately). So there's that.

Day 102 (Day 68 Revisited): Baby It's Cold Outside

Here is what I woke up to today:

This is my backyard patio, complete with homegrown pumpkins.
Brrr.
It's still snowing.
Temperatures outside: mid 20s Fahrenheit.
Temperature in the closed garage (my new exercise spot):
40 degrees Fahrenheit.
Brrr.
Wish me luck.

Hiatus: And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Program

Today I heard something I hadn't heard in two weeks: a grumbly tummy. That's right, folks! My appetite is back. I've been slowly introducing dairy and meat back into the diet as much as I could stomach it. I also had some a.m. and p.m. snacks the last two days. Would like to try to include protein shakes tomorrow and see how that goes. After that, I should be pretty close to normal PCP schedule. Hoorah!

Also I was worried that my energy shortage would never end. I don't think I can stress this enough: I live a full schedule. But I kept coming home from work day after day after day just zapped and, after the parenting and house duties, I would crawl into bed soon after my daughter fell asleep. And then yesterday it seemed to get worse: I went to bed at 8 p.m. and awoke this morning at 8 a.m. WHOA. Twelve hours of sleep? When will my old routine return? Is this a relapse? But I got home from work today, did the Mom thing, felt peppy even and after some reading homework with the kid, I thought I would try a few sets of arm band exercises.

It felt good.

Especially with the Biggest Loser premiere on tonight playing in the background. Especially when I used to watch that show last season while eating ice cream (!!!!). Oh how much has changed!

Hiatus: Lectures and Listening

Argh. I'm embarrassed, perhaps ashamed to be writing this. I thought I would be up for hitting the jumpropes this week or maybe just a little arm band action. But after full days at work to catch up from my sick days and my trip away last week, as well as coming home each night to my other full time gig, motherhood, I was spent. Like truly exhausted. This night owl is now hitting the hay just after the kid. And this light sleeper is falling asleep quickly and deeply until the munchkin wakes her up in the a.m.

I also heard (endured?) a few lectures from caring loved ones about taking it easy, i.e. NOT exercising, to avoid relapse. This includes my friend, the freelance reporter who writes health stories, my cardio kickboxing instructor, co-workers and oh yea my mom. And I thank you and love you all for wanting to protect me and keep me safe and healthy. Asthmatics already have compromised immune systems and I continue to cough, sniffle, use my inhaler and feel fatigue. And while I might *feel* up to it or want to get back into the swing of things, I could fall victim to another bout of lung infection or worse (the university where I work is now inching towards 400 cases of probably flu, regular and swine), they warn me ~ and I worry. It's a concern I have and one I know well. As an energetic kid with asthma, I had a lot of relapses from not taking it easy, i.e. allowing enough recovery time, after lung infections. I hoped back into regular life, playing on the playground or playing my sports and my bad cold at home morphed into a few weeks later with me back on meds, or worse, exhausted and struggling in the hospital or the emergency room hooked to an oxygen machine.

But how much time is enough to recover? How do I know it's not just me being a wuss or, say, avoiding exercise coz it's hard and sweaty and smelly?

My appetite continues to increase in small ways. Dairy is still questionable, as is meat though I try. I often just get a few bites or sips and then stop. Vegs and fruit are more successful; I craved my cucumber bits and cherub tomatoes, and my beloved fuji apples. I've lost some weight, though I worry it's my hard-earned PCP muscle and not that darn sticky fat.

Tomorrow should be a low-key day here at the homestead, so I would like to try any arm band exercises if I have any energy after doing the normal day stuff (parenting, cleaning, laundry). The weather has turned cool here in Colorado, another factor that can affect my breathing. It was in the 50s and rainy today, very chilly. Warmer air is typically best for me. Again, just listening to my body and what it needs at the moment. And hoping it's the right reasons.

Day Fifty-Nine: If You Want To Destroy My Sweater

I have asthma. Since I was four. Countless hospital stays, emergency rooms visits, breathing treatments, pills, inhalers, oxygen masks and once Last Rites when they didn't think I would live.


Once I grew up and scored full-time employment, a mere six years ago, I was able to enroll in health care and my asthma seemed to disappear as I was able to afford preventative care, treat my triggers, get weekly allergy shots and annual doctor visits. After all this, I forget sometimes that I have a condition that affects 17 million people in the United States, killing approximately 5,000 every year.

But I was reminded today: as I walked the kid down to her school, large mowers were trimming down the fields of tall grass surrounding the building. Cut grass lay all over the sidewalk and blew in the wind. By the time I got back home, I was wheezing. And I wheezed all day; I felt out of breathe. I still do. Like a stack of bricks on my chest. Or trying to breathe through a pillowcase over my head. So I'm taking a night off because I know my limits. Pull this thread as I walk away ...

Day Fifty-Five: Picture This

Today was hard, and I felt like at this stage it shouldn't be. Not to say I couldn't be challenged per se, but why do I feel more like quitting than before? Grouch, grouch, grouch ... I don't feel like I have any good reason to grouch, either. So to pep myself up and avoid sounding ungrateful (I truly feel that at times grouching begets more grouching, which is harder to get out of, you know?), I want to post some pics of my "gym." These are the sights I see whilst slaving away at the PCP:

dragonfly by

petal pusher

thunderhead to the north

puffballs in the sky

eerie storm

homegrown pumpkin
thrift store patio table with a fresh coat of paint

Day Fifty-Four: Counting Cards is Bad

Today's high temperature was 98, (sorry only could find a map of yesterday's highs, which were a smidge under today's). That's 13 degrees above normal which broke a record from the late 1800s. I could tell it was going to be a scorcher today. This map is basically the color of my brain on a hot day. I had gotten behind on my PCP exercises due to some unexpected guests/events this weekend (darn you, weekends and your helter skelter lack of routine and schedule!) and so I woke up to catch up on them this morning. But even at 9a.m. in the shade the thermostat read near 80. Uh oh. I did as much as I could, then scurried inside, slammed some headache meds, ate and when the inside temps got to much (I don't have AC), I passed out in a sweaty, dreamy coma for the afternoon to avoid/sleep through the coming mirgaine. It was just too bright and sunny, which took me down HARD yesterday afternoon. It was rough. I didn't want a repeat performance; sleep, food and pain meds help. So do a quiet house.

When I awoke, I was rather chipper and did my usual PCP shopping and went on to finish my workout(s). The mosquitoes are getting smart and nailed me two places bug spray missed: my knuckles and my ears. Which makes it even harder to jump. Man ... I suck at these timed jumps. It's hard to slow down. I also get fatigue in my wrists, ankles and even my fingers holding the rope. I always have to stop for a few seconds, usually with 1:30 to go. And if I try to slow down, I trip. It really sucks when you trip, but then you get the nice sting from the rope against your legs or arms to remind you how much you truly suck. Implement of Torture indeed! To sweeten my timed jumps, which I time with my iPhone, I used a pinball ring tone, so when I'm finished, it sounds like I won the jackpot.

Day Fifty: No Go

It seems when I lack structure, all hell breaks loose. Today was a new schedule for me and the kiddo, and then some appointments I had made on my day off were canceled last minute which threw off my plans, and then my to-do list grew to 10+ things, and I got them all done by golly and while doing this I managed to eat PCP-ly which was fantastic especially since I really wanted pumpkin bread or a cookie, but see I was no where near a printer today (I don't own one) so I did not have my handy dandy printouts of my workouts and sure I could lug my computer out to the garage or scribble them down on scrap paper, but there's nothing as satisfying as the scratch of my pen making hash marks next to each workout and tiny printed-out Patrick deftly doing his PCP exercises. See I have a thing, I like this way of doing things and it didn't happen today. It'll happen tomorrow but not today unfortunately and now I have a headache and now I'm going to bed. Do I feel bad? A little bit. But I got 2/3 of PCP done today (blog + food), which is not an excuse and it's not enough but it's what I did get done. Tomorrow is back to 100 percent. Actually, 133 1/3 percent ... i was never good at math.

Day Twenty-Five: Under the Influence

This morning I went to my usual Saturday morning cardio kickboxing class, and my Gym Buddy Andrea said she could tell whatever I'm doing was working (yah!). She said my upper body looked more tone; I told her I felt more like a German bodybuilder (no offense, German bodybuilders). But yes, I could tell, too, that my muscles were wanted to break through the surface fat, and once that surface fat is burned off, I will have this beautiful little nugget of muscle, and that's exciting.

I also had people in my life tell me they, too, were investigating the PCP for themselves. Wow! Whenever someone hears about this "thing" I'm doing, they come closer. They ask me very good questions. They've emailed Patrick. They want to know more (deja vu, no?). They have fears. They have goals. I think when people are out of shape, they often can point to the factors of influence that got them overweight. What's nice is that the reverse is also true: fitness has factors of influence that can be positive, and that factor, for once, could be me.

Day Twenty: Ticky Tacky

A few people, including our fearless leader Patrick, have alluded to the fact that a feeling of monotony may be about us in the coming weeks as the novelty and enthusiasm of PCP wears off. I can see that. I stay on track with my exercises, no problem; I can now easily do 100 jump ropes if I flick my wrist, hold the rope just right and keep a steady pace. But when I'm tired, PMSy, hungry, or when my kid is yapping in my ear, it's crossed my mind to cut my reps short or that whatever kink or ailment of the day is enough to postpone the workout, which in my world, there is rarely any time to do something later. There is no later. Reminds me of that saying: If not now, when? If not you, who? No one else is going to get me in peak condition. No better time than now.


Other discoveries:
- Tried Shelby's jam recipe. I used strawberries for one batch, and raspberries for the other. The raspberries were my favorite! What a surprise. Guess what I plan to pick up at the market next time ...
- Do not leave fruit peels or pits in your work garbage, lest you get fruit flies and annoy yourself and co-workers. Lesson learned.
- Over the years I've learned to eliminate any excuses I might invent to avoid or reduce my exercise. Invest in comfy clothes, socks and shoes (for me, it's the perfect fitting pants with buttery soft tees and tanks, often picked up from thrift stores). Trim nails, shave legs, wear deodorant, use the bathroom, brush teeth/chew gum (minty breath goes a long way when you huffing and puffing). Sleep is key; caffeine is only a substitute. Find the right tunes or tune out the world: which do you prefer?
(This blog was inspired by my latest viewing pleasure, Weeds, and its theme song Little Houses.