Crisis

Ugh my free time the last few days have been occupied by small fires in my personal life, so I do as much of the exercises (admittedly not all, usually anything involving a bar) as I can in the late night before exhaustion sends me to bed. One of these crisis is with the ex (seriously, don't ever get divorced, it totally, totally, totally, totally sucks), which is a major life changer and will be ongoing, and one was minor and with the child (who probably had H1N1 this week since experts say it's too early for seasonal flu; she's doing better now and went back to school today).

And of course you all know my jumprope broke and I hope to right after I post this to run to a store and hunt one down. The ones at Target were NOT like my beloved jumprope so I'm on a mission, a mission from GAWD, to find a worthy replacement. Also, I'm probably not eating enough historically during these highly stressful times I tend to lose my appetite AND not sleep well) but when I eat it's PCP things (having a thing for green beans, as well as celery lately). So there's that.

Day 104 (Day 70 Revisited): Mountains or Molehills?

- I broke my jumprope while jumping in my second set of jumps tonight. At $1.99 from Target, though, it served me well! Guess I'll get a new one tomorrow.

- I tried some Greek yogurt. Fage brand. First, a tiny spoonful. I made a face. But it was better than regular yogurt! I consider this progress. I then dipped some celery into it. Better! I still hate yogurt. But I tried another new food, thanks to the PCP and PCPers.

- The weather has been cold (in the 20s and snowy) the last few days, and the kid and I both have this sneezy/coughing business going on. She's on the couch now, with a fever and aches. Poor thing. I bought some orange juice for us to drink, and while it may not be PCP, it historically helped in fighting sickness so bottoms up! *sigh* It just feels impossible during times like this to PCP.

Hiatus: And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Program

Today I heard something I hadn't heard in two weeks: a grumbly tummy. That's right, folks! My appetite is back. I've been slowly introducing dairy and meat back into the diet as much as I could stomach it. I also had some a.m. and p.m. snacks the last two days. Would like to try to include protein shakes tomorrow and see how that goes. After that, I should be pretty close to normal PCP schedule. Hoorah!

Also I was worried that my energy shortage would never end. I don't think I can stress this enough: I live a full schedule. But I kept coming home from work day after day after day just zapped and, after the parenting and house duties, I would crawl into bed soon after my daughter fell asleep. And then yesterday it seemed to get worse: I went to bed at 8 p.m. and awoke this morning at 8 a.m. WHOA. Twelve hours of sleep? When will my old routine return? Is this a relapse? But I got home from work today, did the Mom thing, felt peppy even and after some reading homework with the kid, I thought I would try a few sets of arm band exercises.

It felt good.

Especially with the Biggest Loser premiere on tonight playing in the background. Especially when I used to watch that show last season while eating ice cream (!!!!). Oh how much has changed!

Hiatus: Lectures and Listening

Argh. I'm embarrassed, perhaps ashamed to be writing this. I thought I would be up for hitting the jumpropes this week or maybe just a little arm band action. But after full days at work to catch up from my sick days and my trip away last week, as well as coming home each night to my other full time gig, motherhood, I was spent. Like truly exhausted. This night owl is now hitting the hay just after the kid. And this light sleeper is falling asleep quickly and deeply until the munchkin wakes her up in the a.m.

I also heard (endured?) a few lectures from caring loved ones about taking it easy, i.e. NOT exercising, to avoid relapse. This includes my friend, the freelance reporter who writes health stories, my cardio kickboxing instructor, co-workers and oh yea my mom. And I thank you and love you all for wanting to protect me and keep me safe and healthy. Asthmatics already have compromised immune systems and I continue to cough, sniffle, use my inhaler and feel fatigue. And while I might *feel* up to it or want to get back into the swing of things, I could fall victim to another bout of lung infection or worse (the university where I work is now inching towards 400 cases of probably flu, regular and swine), they warn me ~ and I worry. It's a concern I have and one I know well. As an energetic kid with asthma, I had a lot of relapses from not taking it easy, i.e. allowing enough recovery time, after lung infections. I hoped back into regular life, playing on the playground or playing my sports and my bad cold at home morphed into a few weeks later with me back on meds, or worse, exhausted and struggling in the hospital or the emergency room hooked to an oxygen machine.

But how much time is enough to recover? How do I know it's not just me being a wuss or, say, avoiding exercise coz it's hard and sweaty and smelly?

My appetite continues to increase in small ways. Dairy is still questionable, as is meat though I try. I often just get a few bites or sips and then stop. Vegs and fruit are more successful; I craved my cucumber bits and cherub tomatoes, and my beloved fuji apples. I've lost some weight, though I worry it's my hard-earned PCP muscle and not that darn sticky fat.

Tomorrow should be a low-key day here at the homestead, so I would like to try any arm band exercises if I have any energy after doing the normal day stuff (parenting, cleaning, laundry). The weather has turned cool here in Colorado, another factor that can affect my breathing. It was in the 50s and rainy today, very chilly. Warmer air is typically best for me. Again, just listening to my body and what it needs at the moment. And hoping it's the right reasons.

Hiatus: A Recap

Hello friends. I've missed you.

I'll tell you a little about my time off the PCP. Last Monday, I got my pneumonia diagnosis. I stayed home from work Monday and Tuesday. I took some super antibiotics for five days, and they worked in my body for 10 days. I take my inhaler every day, every four to six hours. I didn't eat anything except for three popsicles and two pieces of toast for five days. I lost a few pounds. I slept a lot. I broke my fever. I regained my appetite, but it's much smaller than before. The thought of milk or yogurt disgusts me (and you're supposed to stay away from dairy when you've had a phelgm issue so ....) I worked four hours last Wednesday, six hours last Thursday and a full eight hours last Friday. On Saturday, I flew home to Scranton, Pa., for the first time in seven years and stayed with my high school BFF.

I had a wonderful homecoming with friends. I had my long-awaited second indulgence: a mishmash of local foods such as Sicilian pizza, New York style pizza, a potato pancake, Hershey ice cream, a sweet tea vodka sour. I can't believe I didn't have any Yuengling beer or Tastykakes. What was nice/not nice was that my appetite was still small so I only had a few bites of any bad foods and my coughing kept me from any overeating (coughing + full stomach = total wanna puke feeling).

So I got back into Colorado late last night. I unpacked, showered, and went to bed. Today I went to work for a very full and busy day. I unexpectedly had my daughter tonight, so the only thing I got done after work was grocery shopping since I had no fresh PCP food in the house. The kid got dinner and a bath. I got to write this, as I already feel spent. Sadly, the exercise I had planned is not going to happen tonight. When the kid goes to bed shortly, I plan to as well.

While I feel the best I have yet since before I got sick, I don't have the level of energy I had before. I get tired after a few hours of my normal, hectic life. I am losing hours a day because of it! And that is frustrating. I also had a few people question if the PCP led to me getting so sick! As in: my body was so busy exercising/repairing muscle that it did not have the resources to fight off a germy lung infection.

During my hiatus, I was happy to report that I could see the PCP's influence in action. I had one coffee ~ Dunkin Donuts, baby! ~ every day. I felt like besides the collective indulgence of East Coast noms noms, I made PCP choices (cheese and fruit over a giant greasy salad, grilled chicken, small portion of pasta ~ forgot how much pasta is served with every meal in Italian culture!). All I know is ... is that I miss my jump ropes, even a few times laying in bed pretending to jump with my feet against the footboard. I liked my arm muscle definition as we went out and about and I felt fit and proud. I'm eager to get back, even at a lighter pace. I'm worried about the jump ropes and if it will take my breath away, but it's time to get back. Thanks to you all for the well-wishes. It's been a reflective time for me, and I'm happy with what the PCP has brought me thus far and I'm prepared to see it through with you all.

Day Sixty-Two: The P is Silent

Good news: I don't have swine flu!

Bad news: I have pneumonia.

So what now? Doc gave me two days of home rest, some super antibiotics and an inhaler that's my new best friend until she says so. She said pneumonia takes weeks, if months, to recover from. Don't I know it: had it a few times growing up as a poor asthmatic kid without medical coverage. I wasn't going to the doctors unless I was blue in the face (which sadly happened a lot). So hey! This time I got the diagnosis of pneumonia BEFORE I needed hospital care! I consider this progress.

So what about the PCP? Patrick and I discussed today and we agreed that I would take the next week off and then we will revisit this matter. My only hope right now is to breathe through my nose again and not get winded unloading the dishwasher (today's true story).

Not gonna lie: I feel a bit cheated out of my path to PCP victory. But Patrick urged me not to feel that way, that once I get back to the PCP it'll come back and my healthier body will help me recover faster. I hope so. He also encouraged me to blog still, so I will if I have something enlightening to say.

Thanks to everyone for their kinds thoughts and well-wishes. I appreciate them!

Day Sixty-One: I Didn't Order the Pork

Day Three of The Plague. It's been a rough go. Thank god for nice neighbors who brought me soup and offered to take the kid (she stayed, wanted to take care of her momma).

Symptoms: Fever of 100+ since Friday night. Chills, aches, lost of appetite, vomiting (just water) last night, congestion in chest and head. I haven't been ill like this in years. Sure I've had a 48 hour norovirus but that at least has an end. This just keeps going ... and throw on top of this parenting (the kid has been perfect though, quietly playing downstairs as I maintain my germfest in my bedroom. sure the house is a wreck but at least only one of us is sick, right?)

Yes, I will visit the doctor tomorrow. Trying not to think about swine flu (but totally thinking about swine flu).

Day Sixty: The Plague

Still sick.

No eat.

No exercises.

Just sleep. For almost 24 hours now with a few waking moments here and there.

Not exactly what I envisioned for Day 60 post.

Bummer.

How do I recover? How do I catch up on PCP? And when?

Day Fifty-Nine: If You Want To Destroy My Sweater

I have asthma. Since I was four. Countless hospital stays, emergency rooms visits, breathing treatments, pills, inhalers, oxygen masks and once Last Rites when they didn't think I would live.


Once I grew up and scored full-time employment, a mere six years ago, I was able to enroll in health care and my asthma seemed to disappear as I was able to afford preventative care, treat my triggers, get weekly allergy shots and annual doctor visits. After all this, I forget sometimes that I have a condition that affects 17 million people in the United States, killing approximately 5,000 every year.

But I was reminded today: as I walked the kid down to her school, large mowers were trimming down the fields of tall grass surrounding the building. Cut grass lay all over the sidewalk and blew in the wind. By the time I got back home, I was wheezing. And I wheezed all day; I felt out of breathe. I still do. Like a stack of bricks on my chest. Or trying to breathe through a pillowcase over my head. So I'm taking a night off because I know my limits. Pull this thread as I walk away ...

Day Two: Sick and Tired

It's just after 7a.m. MST here in Colorado, and I've done my PCP exercises for the day; they were very doable and tolerable, especially outside in the cool air and new sun. But I'm definitely feeling the fatigue from two workouts yesterday (PCP and a boot camp I almost done attending) and a head & chest cold that's hopefully on its way out. Is there any advice on how to handle sickness with working out? I took an easy pace and completed every exercise in full. But man, I miss breathing through my nose. My head feels full of cotton, my throat full of broken glass.

I'm heading out of town this afternoon for the Fourth of July weekend. Dropping the kid off at her grandparents in Kearney and I go on to Lincoln, both cities in Nebraska where I went to college and lived for four years. (How does a girl from the Northeast end up in the Midwest? My mom's from Omaha and Nebraska is where those Irish ancestors of mine settled. I keep going back, though, for the friends and my godmother, one of the most important people in my life and a true role model. The free babysitting from the paternal grandparents is just a bonus).

Wondering how being on the road will be with the PCP (another reason for the early exercise today). It's about a five hour trek to Kearney, then another two hours to Lincoln. What are your favorite travel foods? The kid and I are fond of Crunchy Cheetos, but must find a better alternative for snack food on the road today. My jump rope and PCP exercise sheets are already in my purse, so even if I forget to pack a suitcase, I will at least be able to stick with the program. Bon voyage!