So my Mom .... I love Mom. We aren't much alike but she allowed me to shine and be who I am. Her mother didn't allow that for her, and Mom's personality quirks could have followed suit but she didn't. It's a miracle I am hers. Haven't seen her in three years because of time and money on both our parts. She drove out to CO with my Kid Sister, who is 8, from Kentucky. They are visiting for a week; they leave Monday morning. Mom has always been the Dieter. As a kid, I remember the Dexatrim bottle on the counter. Then the various fad diets. Then the pans of brownies and cake that were gone quickly. The XXL tees she scored from the Dollar Store. Sometimes she was heavy; other times she was gaunt. As for exercise, she liked to walk; her timid, cautious and low-key personality prevented her from really trying anything beyond that. She's been into Curves the last year, but stopped going earlier this summer; her reasons were vague. She does, however, wear these Velcro sandals with curved soles which "help" you tone muscle as you walk (?!?!??). I just nod uh-hmmmmm!
Oh yah. This is them. Imagine them with white athletic socks. And sweatpants.
It makes me angry at these companies who sucker these women in; I also am frustrated with these women, including my dear and well-intentioned mother. Sure, she is trimmer than I have seen her in the past but I wouldn't say healthy. On the first day of her visit, we got into a debate because she believes that organic chocolate milk is healthier than regular chocolate milk, therefore she allows Kid Sister to have "only" two glasses of organic chocolate milk PER DAY. I walk downstairs, and Kid Sister starts the day off with 1. a glass of choc milk 2. a chocolate PopTart. Lunch is fries and a shake and a burger patty. Every day she has had a bowl of chocolate covered raisins. Every day so far there have been treats in addition to these "meals." Kid Sister got winded walking around the block with us! As a mother and a PCPer, I totally cringe. I mean, my kid gets the occasional Oreo or whatever but she also gets fruit, vegs and unbreaded protein every day. And Kid Sister prefers to sit on the couch than hit the playground or backyard to play with my Kid, much to Mini Me's dismay. But if I try to engage Mom about their exercise and food habits, she is vague, changes the subject, or shuts down completely. As a former newspaper reporter, I am used to pressing people for details or seeing through the smoke and mirrors to get to the goods. But handling my mom in this manner seems cruel so I have to stop the inquisition and highlighting the giant holes in her beliefs. But I don't want to give up on her.
I get that same reaction from many of my friends. They're amazed at the way you look and want to know how you did it, but the moment you start speaking they realize that you're going to destroy their fragile little world because it means giving up the foods that bring "joy" into their lives. So they ultimately shut down.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, there's no way that you can force them to change. They won't unless they want to. So the only way is to live by example. Maybe that will prompt them to open a dialogue and actually listen.
today my kid sister had a caramel apple for lunch. later i heard my mom tell her husband that kid sister had "an apple" for lunch, which should "fill her up."
ReplyDelete*gritted teeth*