I write. It's what I do.
So why am I nervous?
I wrote my first newspaper article when I was 17. Since then, I spent the last 12 or so years writing about other people. Sometimes it is hard, especially if it involves a tragedy or undue hardship or that occasional devil, writer's block. Most of the time, even when someone was griping at me about something that I may or may not have had any control over, it is fun. Writing, for me, has always been a worthwhile endeavor.
So why do I feel so nervous I could puke? (Which is too bad because I just made dinner.)
The hardest thing for me to write about: me. Which I'm feeling pretty vulnerable and nervous and excited about right now because not only am I beginning the path to my best self, I'm sharing this, all the trials and triumphs, on a blog (?!?!??) which can be read by all (six) of you. Yea, I get it: I'm NUTS. And I'm OK with that, as long as it gets me there.
When I told my inner circle the idea of the Peak Condition Project, they were skeptical. You don't need that, they encouraged me, you can do it on your own! And I loved them for believing in me so much. Sure I've always been fairly active: was a tomboy, played sports all through high school, and in my adult life, I rollerblade, play second base in the city summer league for the last four years, show up for cardio kickboxing every Saturday, even dabble in running (for fun apparently, or at least that's what I hear), yoga and am currently finishing my second session of a boot camp program where I wake up on purpose to exercise at 6:10a.m. three times a week and come home covered in bug spray, sweat and sometimes sprinkler system water.
But this year, the typical routine of "eating whatever as long as I exercise" no longer works; my winter weight, brought on by holiday baking and my usual break-up with exercise due to inclement weather vs warm bed, overcrowded gyms and asthmatic episodes, has stubbornly stuck with me through the end of June. Dang.
Once I signed onto the PCP, though, the support and interest has been so affirming (and provided a nice deterrent to, uh, backing out of this), and I thank you each for that. In the last few years, I've consciously worked harder to bring out the best mother, daughter, sister, employee, friend, neighbor, and heart within myself. Now I'd like a body to match. I know I can do it if you (yes, YOU) are willing to stick this out with me vicariously or otherwise.(seriously, thank you. please send good mojo, vibes and other well wishes my way)
I'm 29, a mother to a soon-to-be kindergartner, a new job as a communicator online and in print, I have amazing friends, co-workers and good role models, AND (and!) I live and work in the Boulder area, one of the fittest and most active communities in the nation. If it's not too selfish, I'd like one more thing: Health. Fitness. A body I can be proud of, instead of apologetic (I had a baby ... almost six years ago! I eat ice cream ... while watching The Biggest Loser! I hate fruit! And yogurt!). So, something's got to change, and I know it's me. And that's the goal. Cue the music ...
